Like a fallen angel, I have fallen. I slipped back into my old ways, taking pleasure in them, forgetting the harm they could cause me. I started to enjoy them again, telling myself I wasn’t doing anything wrong. In truth, I was trying to convince myself of that—or rather, someone was trying to convince me. Just as God speaks to us, so does the devil. He uses all his weight to keep me in this darkness, in this secluded, shadowy corner where everything is ruin, destruction, and anguish. Since then, I’ve been living in constant pain. And why? Because deep down, I know what I’m doing is wrong. This feeling of discomfort, of unease, is nothing but a response from my body, my soul, and my spirit—created by God. And because He created me, He breathed a part of Himself into me, which reveals itself through unease, foreboding, and anxiety when something is not right.
But how can I get out of this? Do I truly want to? Why do I think I need to do this to feel better, when it’s a sin? So many questions I ask myself, and I have no answers.
But I know one thing: the life I want is nothing like the one the devil offers me. He is a liar, a devourer, an impostor—I believe nothing that comes from him. The whispers in my ear that urge me to sin again and again are proof. Someone who wants the best for you doesn’t lead you to evil, but to good. God brings me peace, He heals me, restores me. He guides my steps and makes a way where there was none. His vision of me is so pure, so gentle, so loving, that I can only bow in shame and cry in the face of such love. He is my Father, and as a Father, when I make a mistake, He scolds and disciplines me.
Oh Lord, scold me and discipline me, for I have sinned. I let the devil dictate my actions and gave in to carnal desires. I confess that I am a sinner and have done wrong. I beg You, do not turn away from me, do not take Your presence away from my life like You did with Saul. I want to make things right, to change, and become better by Your side. I want to learn from You, to walk with You.
Oh Lord JESUS, have mercy on a poor lost soul. Help me, so that this fall may be a lesson and that I may grow stronger in You.
Holy Spirit, come and take authority over everything in my life that is not of God, and cast it out in the mighty name of JESUS CHRIST.
If you too have fallen, believe me, you are not alone. We’ve all sadly been there. But nothing is lost. God loves us and wants to help us. All He asks is that we come back to Him. I pray that after reading this, someone’s life will be changed in the mighty name of JESUS CHRIST.
AMEN.
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