“And God said: ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’” Matthew 19:5.
This is a powerful proclamation that the Lord makes to His people, reminding them of the importance of marriage—the union of two people: a man and a woman. But it is undeniable that infidelity has been on the rise for many years. Among women, we often say: “All men are the same, all are unfaithful.” But the truth is, it’s not just them. Both sides cheat, lie, and are unfaithful.
Today, I don’t want to talk about the act itself (infidelity) but rather about the consequences that come with it—consequences we all tend to overlook.
The Perspective of the Betrayed
Discovering that your partner is cheating on you plunges you into an indescribable agony. You feel anger, sadness, depression, and anxiety all at once. You constantly question yourself to the point of making yourself sick. If you work, it affects your performance at your job. You lose interest in life, and everything becomes difficult—especially if you decide to stay with the person who betrayed you.
You fear what people will say, whether you stay or leave. You worry about what your family and friends will think. You wonder how long it has been going on. Was it just one person? Do you know this person? Did everyone around you know, and were you the only fool? How was it so easy for your partner to choose betrayal instead of resolving your issues (if you had any) or simply leaving?
And what about the church? What will it say? So many questions, yet we will never truly get real answers from the unfaithful partner, because everything they say will sound like a lie. You will doubt everything—from the beginning of your relationship until now. And the worst part? Their actions could leave you suffering from an illness—affecting not just you but your children as well. How many people have contracted STDs, HIV/AIDS, or other diseases because of their partner’s infidelity? Sadly, many are no longer here to testify.
If you decide to forgive and stay, you will never fully trust again. If you decide to leave and end the relationship, you may struggle to trust any future partners.
The Perspective of the Children
If you have children, the situation becomes even more painful. Don’t think that hiding it from them means they won’t find out. They always do.
Do you know how learning that one of their parents has been unfaithful can impact a child? They lose trust in that parent, resent them, and start exhibiting behaviors that aren’t their own. They become rebellious, angry, and disrespectful—not just toward the unfaithful parent but sometimes even toward the betrayed one. They become bitter toward the world and withdraw from others.
I remember the first time I found out my father was cheating on my mother. I was in elementary school, and this “good man” used me, his daughter, as an alibi to cheat. He would take me out, pretending he was meeting his friends, but in reality, he was seeing his mistresses—because yes, there were several. And I, naïve and innocent, had no idea. I thought they were just his friends. But one day, my parents argued. I had never seen them fight before. Even though they spoke without raising their voices too much, I heard everything. From that moment, my view of my father changed. I saw him for what he was—a liar and a cheater. And as the years passed, my respect for him disappeared because I saw how little he respected my mother, my brother, and me.
His friends, family, and colleagues all knew about his infidelity over time, and they covered for him. I resented all of them. The man who was once my hero became the example of what not to be. Because of him, my brother and I have a distorted view of relationships. I despise unfaithful people. For me, nothing justifies infidelity. I prayed so much for my parents to divorce, you know? Even though today, I have left it in God’s hands. My mother isn’t perfect, but she deserves so much better than this mockery of a relationship. Unfaithful people don’t deserve to have their partners and children stay and fight for the relationship. That only convinces them that they have the right to keep doing what they do.
The Perspective of Family
Any responsible parent discovering that their child has been betrayed would tell them to leave. Infidelity can be forgiven, but it is never forgotten. Who would want to see their child in such a painful situation? It’s heartbreaking. Families of both partners end up arguing. Family gatherings become tense. Don’t forget—while forgiveness is divine, it does not always allow us to forget. Your in-laws will never see you the same way again.
The Perspective of the Church
The church often prioritizes forgiveness and reconciliation in cases of infidelity. It says, “Think of the children. Divorce is a serious offense before the Lord and is not allowed,” etc.
And this has led to the physical and emotional death of many people. Instead of trying to help (if possible), some churches make it worse. They point fingers, criticize, and condemn. Many families have had to change churches when the infidelity of a spouse was exposed because they couldn’t bear the whispers and mockery. Can you imagine? The burden of infidelity weighs more on the betrayed spouse and the children than on the cheater.
The Perspective of God
God is love and forgives everything—yes, everything. He will not judge someone who has been unfaithful if they sincerely repent. But God is not like us. We are made in His image, but we tolerate far less than He does. He forgives, forgets, loves, and helps the sinner rise again. We do not.
So, when a betrayed person cries out to Him, only God truly understands what they feel. He loves all His children and wants to see them happy. That is why, when He forgives the unfaithful, He also strengthens the betrayed person, helping them heal through Him. He gives them enough love so they can decide whether to stay or leave.
Sometimes, He separates partners, then later brings them back together, just to make them realize the importance of faithfulness, trust, love, forgiveness, and communication.
God forgives the unfaithful, but He does not forget the betrayed. He is there for everyone—helping, loving, and healing.
Cheating may seem thrilling at the moment, but it destroys everything you hold dear.
For those who have been betrayed, take care of your mental and emotional health. Ask God to protect your heart. The most important thing is not what others think of you, but how you feel about the situation.
Can you still sleep beside your partner and pretend nothing happened? Will you lie alone at night, tears running down your face, drowning in negative, suicidal, or even vengeful thoughts?
Think about it carefully. Confide in God. Take time for yourself and continuously ask Him for help.
He will always be there for you—today and forever.
AMEN.
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